(262): Why are there behemoth walrus fat girls surrounding me and why did you strand me amongst them? Asshole...
(1-262): Bout 2 get it in. Fuck off.
(262): Fair enough... Can I still have a ride tomorrow morning?
(1-262): .... No

(308): when was I drunk enough swallow a freakin golf ball
(307): friday dumbass. we each gave u a dollar
(308): well I just now dropped it in the toilet. prov1 even
(307): sick bastard

(920): Yea buddy

(816): Not only am I wearing the same clothes I was wearing last night, but I'm commando and I woke up snuggling with a package of poptarts

(903): Even the vacuum company agrees women should clean!

(916): Well payed safeway.....well played

(903): Only in commerce!

(916): Niiice

(856): You honestly think I'd rather sit and relearn how to calculate electrical fields than get down and dirty with you lol can I take a rain check ?

(630): Why haven't Dickies started their own condom brand?

(510): Tonight looks promising

(559): Girls don't only need to dress up on Halloween. Any night works for me.

(559): Moms these days. Gotta love this generation.

(360): Shit got crazy last night..... I woke up with this pic on my phone.....
(1-360): Atleast it looks like you were winning
(360): Duh that's what I do!!

(360): Remember this drunkin asshole??
(1-206): Hahaha I can tell its Hoop from the teeny weeny