Posted Sep 03 2010 @ 3:15pm | 20 Comments
(614): Note to self: Stop pregaming for non-party type events.
Posted Sep 03 2010 @ 3:00pm | 4 Comments
(352): I just wanna climb a tall building and throw myself from the top of it. Into traffic. Traffic that for some reason is on fire. Firey death traffic.
Posted Sep 03 2010 @ 10:45am | 20 Comments
(972): Why did you just call me and leave the most random voicemail....ever?! Lmao
(1-972): We have liquid pot. Come over asap
(1-972): We have liquid pot. Come over asap
Posted Sep 03 2010 @ 10:30am | 6 Comments
(440): ...so you're telling me my penis made you remember...
(1-440): Yup
(440): ...true friendship
(1-440): Yup
(440): ...true friendship
Posted Sep 03 2010 @ 10:15am | 2 Comments
(734): Sometimes I wish it was socially acceptable to slap bitches for saying stupid shit
Posted Sep 03 2010 @ 10:00am | 11 Comments
(707): Pretty sure someone just ruffied the shit out of me last night, i don't remember going out
(1-707): You didn't.
(707): Fucking shit man that's like the 4th time that this shit has happened to me
(1-707): You didn't.
(707): Fucking shit man that's like the 4th time that this shit has happened to me
Posted Sep 03 2010 @ 6:45am | 4 Comments
(817): Any idea WTF it means when a girl asks you what you are doing tonight then says she's on her period then starts talking about having multiple orgasms all the in same breath?
(1-817): You shouldnt take your dick outta her mouth, next time ull know better
(1-817): You shouldnt take your dick outta her mouth, next time ull know better
Posted Sep 03 2010 @ 6:30am | 5 Comments
(903): The things we did to that statue...just to see people hanging all over it taking pictures this morning...my god.
Posted Sep 03 2010 @ 6:15am | 2 Comments
(561): I almost just ran over like 10 children in a cross walk and swerved to hit the curb...i think
Posted Sep 03 2010 @ 6:00am | 9 Comments
(678): Are you still pissed at me? The reality is this...it would have died in 3 or 4 years anyway. We were just moving things along a bit.
Posted Sep 02 2010 @ 11:45pm | 22 Comments
(970): So in your drunken stupor last night, you tried to jump into the window of my car feet first
(1-970): Is that why I have this huge bruise on my back?!
(970): Well, you fell a lot, but you eventually got your feet in and used the handle on the top of the inside of the door, but it broke off and you fell out again. It was fuckin hilarious man
(1-970): Screw you dude, don't let me get drunk anymore... This is the second time that has happened to me
(1-970): Is that why I have this huge bruise on my back?!
(970): Well, you fell a lot, but you eventually got your feet in and used the handle on the top of the inside of the door, but it broke off and you fell out again. It was fuckin hilarious man
(1-970): Screw you dude, don't let me get drunk anymore... This is the second time that has happened to me
Posted Sep 02 2010 @ 11:30pm | 4 Comments
Posted Sep 02 2010 @ 11:15pm | 62 Comments
(604): I have a video of Jess dancing in the street last night
(1-604): So she does that all the time and you always record her doing it
(604): Yea...but you're taking a shit on someone's stoop in the background this time
(1-604): Yea man...that happened.
(1-604): So she does that all the time and you always record her doing it
(604): Yea...but you're taking a shit on someone's stoop in the background this time
(1-604): Yea man...that happened.
Posted Sep 02 2010 @ 11:00pm | 3 Comments
(440): You know,the part in the wizard of oz...where the monkeys tear apart the scare crow? It's like that :,(
Posted Sep 02 2010 @ 7:45pm | 20 Comments