(210): Last night wasnt so bad...

(318): I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there is no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around the rock and leave it immobile? Why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors why can't paper so this to people!? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody! A rock would tear that sh!t up in like 2 seconds. When I play rock paper scissors I always choose rock. The when somebody claims to have beaten me with paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "oh shit I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!"
(1-318): I love you.

(812): Lol, he was too drunk to figure out how to unlock it...ended up sleeping in there till morning

(817): How was last night?
(1-817): You tell me

(952): We couldn't find her for an hour, she passed out while peeing

(918): Ryan sent me this...ugh, I can't keep my clothes on when I drink tequilla :(

(317): AND she did my laundry!

(806): Easy money

(644): How was the boat trip?
(1-644): Amazing, I rod a dolphin, had my slippers, made out with a mermaid, and t-pain even showed up!

(270): Uhhh Yeah.... I just got it like that

(310): Last call on Halloween

(918): No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(1-918): Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(361): My private tutor :-)

(419): Remember how we were talking about the kind of girl that would let guys take provocative pictures of her? And you said they didn't exist? I told you Tanya wouldn't mind.

(325): blah i wish. fucking high schoolers and their cock teasyness