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(720): Dude that sex was as good as a snickers bar
(303): I'm allergic to peanuts

Posted Feb 08 2010 @ 7:45pm | 59 Comments

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Posted by Peter D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:46pm

Mmm. Snickers...

Posted by Peter D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:47pm

Hi people.

Posted by Apimpnamedslickback J. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:48pm

Lame! How can u compare sex to candy?

Posted by Thegirlwith G. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:52pm

They call me jollyrancher cause I stay so hard u can suck me for a long time omg. I

Posted by Buster H. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:48pm

I like a Snickers.

Posted by Ashley R. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:48pm

Lmao!!! I like twix better though

Posted by Cody K. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:51pm

YES•

Posted by John M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:54pm

I never tried twix

Posted by Ashley R. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:56pm

.....fail!!! You need to try it it's delicious

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:49pm

Sucks for u snickers are the bomb digity

Posted by Peter D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:52pm

Yup•

Posted by Ginger T. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:18pm

Don't forget snicker bar ice cream toooo. Yuuummmyy.

Posted by Peter D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:34pm

Vvv that vvv

Posted by Ryan J. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:49pm

Milky ways are the shit js

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:50pm

Mmm the dark ones!!

Posted by Keebler E. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:51pm

SNICKERS BITCH!!!

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Posted by Nunchucks M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:50pm

Amanda and apimpnamedslickback have a very valid point. Buuuuut I'm more with apimpnamedslickback.

Posted by Cody K. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:50pm

Twix is way better

Posted by Sean W. on Feb 08 2010 @ 11:14pm

And kitkat

Posted by Sean W. on Feb 08 2010 @ 11:15pm

I love the coffee twix they had as ltd rls

Posted by Stabby M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:52pm

yo guys...does anyone else get the urge to pee when they get in shower? the moment i step into the shower, i have to pee. pool too. but not if i get caught in the rain though. strange :/

Posted by Buster H. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:54pm

Let's me guess, you get out of the shower to pee????

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 7:54pm

No I do too!! Or when I play hide and seek and I'm hiding... I suddenly have to piss

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Posted by Wolf M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:05pm

Butterfinger blizzard

Posted by Peter D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:08pm

7 pm and the wife is already exhausted and going to bed.. Is this normal?

Posted by Buster H. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:10pm

How long you been married?

Posted by Wolf M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:11pm

Is she morbidly obese and suffering from sleep apnea(sp?), or trying to avoid fucking you?

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Posted by Stabby M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:21pm

go to a brazilian store and buy this white chocolate called "galak". get ready to experience oral orgasm

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:22pm

U have mentioned this once before a while back.. But there is no brazillian store near me

Posted by Stabby M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:23pm

thats so sad :/
youre missing out on good shiz

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Posted by Ginger T. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:22pm

Snickers bar/ice cream is the key to my heart. No lie.

Posted by Stabby M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:23pm

that thing is tits. i love it.

Posted by Goldens H. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:24pm

Tits is the key to my snickers bars.

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Posted by Stephanie J. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:30pm

Off to get my tat!!! *stu's voice* byyeeeee

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:31pm

Wooo pics afterwards!!!!

Posted by Goldens H. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:31pm

Omg I want another! Can I come along?

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Posted by Brenton M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:35pm

TWIX KICKS SNICKER ASS

Posted by Ginger T. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:35pm

You are kind of a fail. Js.

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:36pm

Nooo way Jose

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Posted by Christy B. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:37pm

Am I the only one finding these posts really un funny today?

Posted by Kyler L. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:40pm

were you expecting something funny?

Posted by Below M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:40pm

You are not alone. I go in the mods and it's depressing.

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Posted by Kyler L. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:42pm

Something amusing

Posted by Carlton I. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:42pm

Another foot of snow tomorrow :/

Posted by Kyler L. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:44pm

Lucky, we cant even get an inch

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:44pm

We have 5 inches coming this way urgh :(

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Posted by Zac C. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:47pm

I just had 3 Musketeers. I feel like such a slut.
-Wait, whut?

Posted by Goldens H. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:49pm

Dirty dirty whore you. That sounds so good right now.

Posted by Below M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:03pm

3 musketeers are the greatest candy bars ever.

Posted by Fazir J. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:04pm

Lol••

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:48pm

Almond joys and milk duds are my all time fav!

Posted by Peter D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:59pm

I hate coconut

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:02pm

Love it!!!

Posted by Peter D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:13pm

The smell bothers me

Posted by Stabby M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:52pm

fuck yessssss. no classes again. you guys dont understand how this excites me. i had no class fri an today due to snow. and not tomorrow ^_^

Posted by Gina N. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:53pm

Samesies here :) I feel u the best

Posted by Carlton I. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:58pm

Nice. Jealous v

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Posted by Zahra H. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:54pm

TETRIS!

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:55pm

I fucking Rock at tetris!! I'll school
Anyone who challenges me! I'm
A beast at it!!!!!!!

Posted by Karl L. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:55pm

<---- natural born tetris player

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Posted by Gavinn J. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:55pm

All you mother fuckers wanna fight?

Posted by Hoai V. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:01pm

Lets gp

Posted by Goldens H. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:58pm

has to get ready to go kill bad guys. Bye ppl. Sorry if that was annoying, I was just really bored. ;P

Posted by Jack N. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:59pm

Ur a cop?

Posted by John M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 8:59pm

What bad guys?

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Posted by Fazir J. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:01pm

Guess who!?!

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:05pm

Ohai!!!

Posted by Fazir J. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:07pm

How u doinn?

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Posted by Hoai V. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:04pm

Fuck me

Posted by Hoai V. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:04pm

Niggers r black :)

Posted by Fazir J. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:08pm

Sand niggas are brown.

Posted by Craig H. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:09pm

V a gay sand faggot

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Posted by Craig H. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:10pm

sup faggots? its the sherminator

Posted by QuackMcfap D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:14pm

Gtfo rush

Posted by Craig H. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:17pm

Why dont you faggot. Gof ap over hoai

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Posted by Pj E. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:16pm

satisfactory?

Posted by Ginger T. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:21pm

My fb app isn't working right. Wtfeeesh.

Posted by Peter D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:23pm

Shake your phone

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:24pm

That really works ??

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Posted by Jack N. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:27pm

Hey Goldens, I really don't like u meow :(

Posted by Stabby M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:28pm

found out shes a dude?

Posted by QuackMcfap D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:29pm

Allergic to nuts?

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Posted by Tyler C. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:30pm

Fags r gay

Posted by Sarah D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:55pm

Only cuz you bent over

Posted by Peter D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:30pm

Bazinga

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:31pm

What is something you wish you could do but can't?

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:31pm

Ride a unicycle

Posted by Ginger T. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:32pm

Fly a helicopter.

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Posted by Nikki M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:33pm

I want a snickers

Posted by Jack N. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:38pm

I want a butterfinger

Posted by Nikki M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:41pm

I want anything candybar

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Posted by Kat E. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:35pm

I can totally relate ... Some chocolate is so good ... It's enough for me to gorge instead of sex.

Posted by Amanda S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:35pm

Def!!!

Posted by Peter D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:37pm

You need better sex

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Posted by Keana H. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:38pm

Hey (:

Posted by QuackMcfap D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:39pm

JAMES!!!

Posted by QuackMcfap D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:39pm

*keana!
How are you?

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Posted by Robin T. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:41pm

Condoms don't always do their job
Recently, a study published in the authoritative sounding "Contraceptive" magazine found that the good ol' withdrawal method was more or less as effective as condoms at preventing pregnancy. This is either proof the typical guy has a lot more self-control than we'd have guessed, or that when it comes to condoms, a lot of folks are quite literally doing it wrong.

Posted by Nikki M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:43pm

I think that's true for grown men. But younger ones I don't think do it on time in many cases.

Posted by Ginger T. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:43pm

Meh. I don't like condoms.

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Posted by John M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:46pm

Holy shit, is anybody else watching 24?

Posted by Karl L. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:46pm

Yep•

Posted by Below M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:56pm

Never watched it.

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Posted by Nikki M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:46pm

I have to admit something. I've only looked through the mod section once since they told us to quit posting nudes. I am a perv & I like Law & Order SVU.

Posted by Nate S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:47pm

haha win

Posted by Gina N. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:47pm

I second what Nikki just said... Kinda miss the nudes. I'd look at the tits and compare them with my own lolzypoo I also watch svu and criminal intent

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Posted by Sarah D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:50pm

Snickers are the shit but you have all forgoten the Penut butter cups

Posted by Karl L. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:52pm

Reeses are so good but there's not enough in a pack. I mean 3 in each pack like wtf? Its almost as bad as Twix that only have two sticks in each pack.

Posted by Stabby M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:52pm

yea•

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Posted by Jennifer S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:56pm

??SAINTS??

Posted by Karl L. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:58pm

And look who's back. The bumble bee.

Posted by QuackMcfap D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:58pm

Whos that

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Posted by Karl L. on Feb 08 2010 @ 9:59pm

Vancouver 2010... Do you believe?

Posted by Sarah D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:01pm

I believe in monsters

Posted by Karl L. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:04pm

I do too... But not the monsters that would hide under my bed or in my closet as a kid.

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Posted by Peter D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:08pm

Nikki, did you get my MSG? I didn't stop to think that you may get more than enough in a days time.

Posted by Astom O. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:10pm

My chicken I ate at Panda Express didn't have any MSG in it.

Posted by John M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:14pm

EVERYTHING has MSG in it

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Posted by Cody K. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:14pm

Lesbian truckers

Posted by Brenton M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:15pm

I saw that also

Posted by Cody K. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:18pm

Lol some1 getting banned

Posted by Devin W. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:25pm

Let's go to Vegas and kill a hooker

Posted by Hose G. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:29pm

Urthehooker,k?

Posted by Devin W. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:31pm

Trickfor$5?

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Posted by Astom O. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:25pm

I was riding in the bus, when a ______ started to ______.

Posted by QuackMcfap D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:26pm

Bum, fap

Posted by Hose G. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:28pm

Nigger/steal my cookies

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Posted by Mariam M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:29pm

I'm not sure if shady's on... But snickers suck ass. Kind of like your mom last night.

Posted by Karl L. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:31pm

Bam!!!•

Posted by Shady S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:31pm

Take it back bitch

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Posted by Zahra H. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:33pm

york patties are yumm. i like to get one after i go skiing it makes me feel like i live in Antarctica idk why..

Posted by Hose G. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:37pm

Coolstorybruh.

Posted by Stephanie J. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:39pm

One bite and I'm done b

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Posted by Stephanie J. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:36pm

This doesn't hurt :)

Posted by Ginger T. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:37pm

Heehee I'm a stalker... What kind of a tat did you get?

Posted by Stephanie J. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:38pm

He's doin it as we speak :) gettin three tulips and a heart/peace sign. Then he's gonna touch up the one on my foot

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Posted by Ashley G. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:41pm

I want chocolate now! Haha

Posted by Mariam M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:42pm

Ashley!

Posted by Mariam M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:44pm

Lol lame pick up lines are always a win. Hey Ashely, you're still pretty as usual.

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Posted by Mariam M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:42pm

Zac! Come hither!

Posted by Shady S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:44pm

Hi•

Posted by Shady S. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:46pm

I hope I tricked u.

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Posted by Aashna C. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:47pm

Peanut butter jelly time!!

Posted by Dinora D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:47pm

The ice cream bars are better

Posted by Ginger T. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:48pm

I agree. Sooooooooooooooooooooo much. With. You.

Posted by Dinora D. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:51pm

I want one

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Posted by Below M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:48pm

I walked into the local convenience store and the owner was behind the counter___________

Posted by Devin W. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:49pm

jerking his weenis

Posted by Ginger T. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:49pm

Getting humped by a elephant.

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Posted by Darwin O. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:54pm

picklecakes ftw!!! :D
waaaay better than snickers.

Posted by Devin W. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:55pm

WTF is a picklecake?

Posted by Keana H. on Feb 08 2010 @ 10:59pm

Wtf??

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Posted by Wolf M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 11:01pm

I finally got words 4 friends. I'm "wolfmanish" feel free to add me, just lemme know who u are first

Posted by Ginger T. on Feb 08 2010 @ 11:03pm

I'll peob forget by tomorrow. So if you have time too I'm chelle on there. Go easy on me though, idk English.

Posted by Gina N. on Feb 08 2010 @ 11:06pm

I'm scared u eat me alive ;(

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Posted by Below M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 11:15pm

I was on a flight from Philly to Dallas halfway through I get up to go to the bathroom and I open the door to see____________

Posted by Karl L. on Feb 08 2010 @ 11:16pm

A terrorist with bombs stuffed in his underpants.

Posted by Below M. on Feb 08 2010 @ 11:17pm

So I kicked him in the balls and__________

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Posted by Brittney C. on Feb 08 2010 @ 11:16pm

Need a moment?
Chew it over with TWIX

Posted by Michelle R. on Feb 09 2010 @ 2:25pm

I'm allergic to chocolate.

Posted by Joshua C. on May 16 2010 @ 1:56pm

Man life must suck when ur allergic to peanuts