TWI: Texting While Intoxicated

114

Up Down

(636): Dude! Look what this chick did to my back a few nights ago!!!
(314): Lol that look like exactly what my gf does to me
(636): ...

Posted Jul 29 2010 @ 3:44am | 98 Comments

You must login to Facebook to post a comment.

Posted by Laura M. on Jul 29 2010 @ 3:48am

I've done worse... I call it a testament to your sexual prowess...

Posted by Dan G. on Jul 29 2010 @ 2:36pm

Prove it

Posted by Kristi R. on Jul 29 2010 @ 2:41pm

Go laura

Posted by Logan Y. on Jul 29 2010 @ 3:54am

Nice skidmarks :S

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 29 2010 @ 3:58am

Oh I get it. He fucked his gf. That is hilarious. Lolomgcoldplay

Posted by Aaron H. on Jul 29 2010 @ 4:08am

Lmfaorofl z0mg this post was so funny...

Posted by Kory K. on Jul 29 2010 @ 4:04am

That's how bitches roll in St chuck lol

Posted by Robert M. on Jul 29 2010 @ 4:06am

Yea I got those same scratches lol

Posted by Aaron H. on Jul 29 2010 @ 4:07am

I feel as if I must kill a small child now

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 4:22am

Looks like Chlamydia to me... Js FYI js

Posted by BoobsOn M. on Jul 29 2010 @ 4:43am

The way he is leaning over is like, supa h0m0$3xuAlz. Lol heehee<3

Posted by John M. on Jul 29 2010 @ 5:44am

It's just a scratch, stop being such a pussy

Posted by Bethany W. on Jul 29 2010 @ 6:48am

It's qmf!

Posted by Bethany W. on Jul 29 2010 @ 9:30am

I'm waiting for the i4 launch here. I didn't care enough to upgrade since I got this one like.. 3 months before the 3G.

Posted by QuackMcfap D. on Jul 29 2010 @ 10:13am

Lol•

Posted by Michelle R. on Jul 29 2010 @ 7:55am

looks like a skaters scratch....bet hes still a virgin...

Posted by Kevin M. on Jul 29 2010 @ 9:16am

Fuck no that guy doesn't know what a vag looks like, so I know he didn't his dick wet. Sorry pal but sorry your cat scratched you.

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 29 2010 @ 9:17am

LOLOMGCOLDPLAY

Posted by Bethany W. on Jul 29 2010 @ 9:31am

OMLG.

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 12:43pm

Lolomgcoldplay

Posted by Nathan K. on Jul 29 2010 @ 11:41am

It's amazing what a guys beard will do to a young boy

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 12:43pm

LOLOMGCOLDPLAY

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 12:46pm

Today was a good day... tested positive for AIDS, Herpes and Syphilis... But... But but... I had the most amazing sex for the first time in years!

Posted by QuackMcfap D. on Jul 29 2010 @ 12:50pm

Lol!!

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 1:07pm

Cup = half full lolomgcoldplay

There are 3 more replies. Click here to load them.

Posted by QuackMcfap D. on Jul 29 2010 @ 12:51pm

JERSEY SHORE SEASON 2 starts TONIGHT
UNCEUNCE UNCEUNCE
GTL

Posted by Fozzie B. on Jul 29 2010 @ 1:20pm

GTL REEEEMMMIIIIXXXX

Posted by Dan G. on Jul 29 2010 @ 2:40pm

They are so irritating. I can't even go near seaside without wanting to punch every gel haired gweed that I see.

There are 3 more replies. Click here to load them.

Posted by Kenneth M. on Jul 29 2010 @ 1:01pm

He must've fucked a girl with just a left arm because usually scratching comes in sequence. He probably fell off his skateboard

Posted by Brittany M. on Jul 29 2010 @ 6:05pm

lol. Exacty what I was thinking.

Posted by Ricky H. on Jul 29 2010 @ 1:21pm

Jack ass scratched himself on concrete and posted it on TWI saying it's girl scratch marks. Tool

Posted by Ricky H. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:19am

Did you honestly think people would believe this shit.. Fag

Posted by Ross E. on Jul 29 2010 @ 1:42pm

Watch me at the x games tonight!!!!!

Posted by Fozzie B. on Jul 29 2010 @ 1:52pm

this fruitcake probly just fell of his skateboard.

Posted by Fozzie B. on Jul 29 2010 @ 1:52pm

FU, kenneth.

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 1:58pm

Today was a good day... Burglars broke into my house and raped my girlfriend... They destroyed the house and raped her somemore... It was horrid and they forced me to watch. But but but... She died... So now I don't have to tell my wife I was cheating!!!

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 2:49pm

Cup half full

Posted by Thao T. on Jul 29 2010 @ 8:14pm

she was a fat bitch anyways

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 8:16pm

Iknoright... Fuckyourmom

Posted by Kevin M. on Jul 29 2010 @ 2:19pm

This fuck cake reminds me of a shit bag I knew a wile back. Fucking dick face. Later bitches.

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 2:47pm

Today was a good day... I walked in on my wife getting sex'd by my brother... She was screaming to the high mountains... "ohIthinkSheLikeIt"... But but but... I haz Teddy Cam in mah kitchen... And she makes wayyyyyyyy more than me... Herro divorce dollahzzzzzz

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 2:49pm

Bitch can keep the kids...
Cup half full

Posted by Jim S. on Jul 29 2010 @ 3:15pm

These are all pretty lame. Did you steal these from like jay leno or something? Step up the quality kid. Oh, and the 'cup half full' is soooo uninspired. Choose a livelier tagline.

There are 6 more replies. Click here to load them.

Posted by Kimberly W. on Jul 29 2010 @ 3:05pm

That doesn't even look like scratches from a girl..... You loose

Posted by Ez R. on Jul 29 2010 @ 3:39pm

What happened to Cassandra?? I miss her.

Posted by TheGoal I. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:22am

She's locked in my basement

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 5:13pm

Jim walks into his parents house looking for his mother. Poppa's at work so this is perfect timing for a incest sex session. He runs into the master bedroom and to his surprise finds.... ME!!!!! I grab that little bitch by his little bitch and drag him across the cold hard tiles... He screams... He yells, but it only gets me excited... my massive bursts through my my trousers, BOOM!!!! I look to the corner and ask his mom.. ARE YOU GETTING ALL THIS?!?!?!? She nods....

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 5:17pm

1 of many

Posted by Jim S. on Jul 29 2010 @ 7:42pm

FTFY \\ 1 too many

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 5:17pm

Jimbo the dumbo faggo looks surprised... I giggle... He yells OMLG!!! his mother multitasks, fingering her snatch while still filming... Jimbo looks up n sees this... He's calmed shortly as he notices something familiar between his mothers legs... Then I shove my giant girthy member in and begin the massive rapeing.... Reminding Jim that this wasn't play tine for him... He bleeds all over like a menstruating bitch he even yells like one............

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 5:18pm

2 of many

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 5:21pm

I pull out and grab a bundle of wire hangers... Then I hear a blood curdling scream... It's jumbo jimbos mom... She came and squirted all over... She lays trembling as I drag jimbo to the bed post and drop his boney ass, ass first onto the ginormous bed post!!!!!! *cue Tarzan scream...

Posted by Kent G. on Jul 29 2010 @ 5:37pm

Lol Jim just got owned

Posted by Jim S. on Jul 29 2010 @ 7:13pm

You must be easily impressed

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 6:28pm

Today was a good day. The police found my porn/rape tapes from me destroying Jim... I was charged with false imprisonment and rape... 30 years in prison... But but but... I came all over Jims face...

Posted by Jim S. on Jul 29 2010 @ 7:16pm

Your homoerotic fantasies are astonishing! It's almost like you've thought of this before. Over and over and over. Lololololololol. Pussypuppet boy. You can't come hard enough.

Posted by Kimberly W. on Jul 29 2010 @ 7:20pm

Troll, I think I love you lmfao.

Posted by Jim S. on Jul 29 2010 @ 7:13pm

Protroll is my puppet. I love the attention. Keep it coming.

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 7:17pm

Who are you?

Posted by Kimberly W. on Jul 29 2010 @ 7:21pm

Awww did he hurt your feelings?

Posted by Jim S. on Jul 29 2010 @ 7:45pm

I am your master. Make more silly homo stories you enjoy so much : D

Posted by Katrina H. on Jul 29 2010 @ 7:59pm

Your dirty boxers are so sexy

Posted by Em O. on Jul 29 2010 @ 8:07pm

He's got a sexy back. I'd tear that shit up.

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 8:09pm

Vv so. Many. Men

Posted by Em O. on Jul 29 2010 @ 9:23pm

Lolwut?

Posted by Sean W. on Jul 29 2010 @ 8:18pm

Vagina

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 8:25pm

Today was a good day.... I got arrested for drug racketeering... But but but... I was cavity searched.... Ohwait?

Posted by Mariam M. on Jul 29 2010 @ 9:19pm

Since when did Jacob (from twilight) start gettig referred to as a girl?

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 29 2010 @ 9:40pm

The day after he sparkled...

Posted by Nate S. on Jul 29 2010 @ 9:48pm

Ohaim

Posted by QuackMcfap D. on Jul 29 2010 @ 10:35pm

Oh m gee. Angelina is rooming with pauly d and the shituation

Posted by Fozzie B. on Jul 29 2010 @ 11:01pm

lololol

Posted by Katrina H. on Jul 30 2010 @ 4:24am

Ooooh snap!

Posted by Bethany W. on Jul 29 2010 @ 10:42pm

Fiddy

Posted by Paige E. on Jul 29 2010 @ 11:19pm

Fuk mi ass

Posted by Basil M. on Jul 30 2010 @ 12:19am

You? No thnx

Posted by Linton H. on Jul 30 2010 @ 12:22am

Oohhh snap! Ur boy's fuckin ur girl! Whatevs, bone it like you own it sahn

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 12:33am

You know how I know your ghey?

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 12:34am

You like coldplay
OMGLOLCOLDPLAY

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 12:36am

Your names artimus

There are 26 more replies. Click here to load them.

Posted by Nathan G. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:16am

If you're going to fucking complain about the app, just fucking delete it. No one cares what you think and no one cares if you leave. Get over yourself. Get off your fucking high horse.

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:21am

Who r u talkin about queerbag?

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:34am

Captain Kirk or picard?

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:04am

Captain crunch.

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:34am

Leno or letterman?

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:04am

Falon

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:34am

Brady or manning?

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:05am

Rothlesburger(sp?)

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:35am

Dumbledore or gandalf?

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:05am

Merlin

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:35am

Bird or magic?

Posted by Bethany W. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:36am

Bird hands down.

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:06am

Shaqi

Posted by Michelle W. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:35am

Who's this Wilbur toolbag

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:35am

Jolie or Anniston?

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:06am

Jen•

Posted by Katrina H. on Jul 30 2010 @ 4:26am

Anniston

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:36am

Dora or Diego?

Posted by Michelle W. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:37am

Diego. Dora. Is. Annoying.

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:06am

Backpack

Posted by Katrina H. on Jul 30 2010 @ 4:27am

Swiper

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:37am

Hogan or macho man?

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:07am

Kimbo slice

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:37am

Kobe or lebron?

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:07am

Rondo

Posted by Fozzie B. on Jul 30 2010 @ 3:28am

BLACKKKK MAMBAAAAA

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:38am

Red dot or feather? (Indian)

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:07am

Spurrs

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:39am

Chinese or Japanese food?

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:08am

Italian

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:39am

Chicken or turkey?

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:08am

Ham•

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:39am

French toast or pancakes?

Posted by Michelle W. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:47am

All depends on the pancake. Are there fruit involved? Whipped cream? Strawberry syrup? Dap of butta?

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:49am

Sure. For both tho

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:08am

Cereal

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:39am

Weed or alcohol?

Posted by Carly A. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:42am

weeeeeeeeeeeeed

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:08am

Yay•

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:39am

Cash or credit?

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:09am

Debit

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:40am

Beama, Benz, or bentley?

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:09am

Rolls.

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:40am

Jet li or Jackie chan?

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:09am

ChunLi

Posted by Bethany W. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:42am

Stfu plz.

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:46am

Ok, only because you are being polite.

Posted by Bethany W. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:48am

:) thank you.

There are 2 more replies. Click here to load them.

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:42am

Mencia or Lopez?

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:09am

Enrique

Posted by Daniel E. on Jul 31 2010 @ 6:52am

Iglesias

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:44am

Patrick or spongebob?

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:10am

Gary•

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:44am

Tupac or biggie?

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:10am

Soulja boy

Posted by Fozzie B. on Jul 30 2010 @ 3:29am

.........
vv

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:45am

Weezy, jeezy, or yeezy(kanye)?

Posted by Sarah K. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:10am

Wiz •

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:45am

Beyonce or gaga?

Posted by Bethany W. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:48am

Gaga ftw.

Posted by Jack N. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:53am

Vvv WTF?!

There are 2 more replies. Click here to load them.

Posted by QuackMcfap D. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:51am

This app is dumb. I'm deleting this Ducktarded app

Posted by Kristen S. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:52am

Cassandra or Wilbur?

Posted by Kristen S. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:52am

I prefer cassandra personally... I'd trade Wilbur for her to come back

Posted by Bethany W. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:55am

Who are you?

There are 10 more replies. Click here to load them.

Posted by Justin R. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:52am

Hunk her name was tiffany

Posted by Justin R. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:52am

I think. Damn I'm drunk

Posted by Mariam M. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:10am

What's goin on hurr? V

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 1:59am

I take the time to ask u fucks these "or" questions and u gais don't answer. This is why quack is deleting. Assholea

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:17am

btw, i only just logged on... otherwise i would have been right here destroying this ish wit ya bro... specially the "knowhowiknowurghey" post... lol that shit was epic last time...

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:20am

It's how lolomgcoldplay came along ^5

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:50am

lolomgcoldplay... iknowright... that was hella fun tho... dont get fun like that here anymore... just spam...

Posted by QuackMcfap D. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:01am

Vvvvvv

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:10am

Wilbur... you didnt comment on my well thought out master pieces... so fuck you and ya shit dick....

Posted by Mariam M. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:11am

Lulzanalftw

Posted by ProTroll L. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:13am

it was nomlicious...

There are 10 more replies. Click here to load them.

Posted by Michelle W. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:16am

Hop off this thread. JUST SAYING. JS...

Posted by Mariam M. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:21am

By thread you mean dick... Then no. You gtfo and find your own non-moving ride.

Posted by TheGoal I. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:24am

I <3 you Mariam

There are 3 more replies. Click here to load them.

Posted by Sarah O. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:18am

Team Snookie?

Posted by Mariam M. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:22am

Wookie*

Posted by TheGoal I. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:26am

Who likes fucking farm animals?

Posted by Mariam M. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:28am

Well, it depends. On a relative scale, would it be on the same level as a first cousin perhops...?

Posted by TheGoal I. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:29am

First cousin once removed

There are 2 more replies. Click here to load them.

Posted by Cassandra W. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:31am

sPaM OR nO? jW jS fYi Js

Posted by TheGoal I. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:52am

Please get a hobby

Posted by Cassandra W. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:35am

MaRiAm iS Ov3rAt3D...

Posted by Cassandra W. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:36am

jS fYi Js.... Rag h3aD BiOtCh

Posted by Cassandra W. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:36am

jS fYi Js.... Rag h3aD BiOtCh

There are 1003 more replies. Click here to load them.

Posted by Mariam M. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:37am

V loling

Posted by Cassandra W. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:43am

<3 =)

Posted by Charles C. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:43am

Holy shit... Spam champ down durr

Posted by Cassandra W. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:44am

t33h33... <3

Posted by TheGoal I. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:49am

Run for your lives

Posted by TheGoal I. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:55am

"dicks and vaginas are like coke and pepsi. I strongly prefer one over the other but my dad thinks they taste the same"

Posted by Kimberly W. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:59am

My mom prefers vaginas, just because she tasted a horrible dick

Posted by Courtney I. on Jul 30 2010 @ 2:59am

that's hilarious!

There are 4 more replies. Click here to load them.

Posted by TheGoal I. on Jul 30 2010 @ 3:30am

I wanna fuck a fuckin' dog in the ass

Posted by Fozzie B. on Jul 30 2010 @ 3:30am

Fuck you fruity faggots for falling asleep...
-Fozzie

Posted by Jarod L. on Jul 30 2010 @ 10:45pm

maybe you'll leave your cat alone when it doesn't want to play now