TWI: Texting While Intoxicated

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(330): Do you like wanna fuck before friday cause thats when my abortion is and afterward im not having sex for a very very long time..

Posted Mar 10 2010 @ 10:15am | 32 Comments

-68

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(989): My cat just sat on my face. Then peed a little

Posted Mar 10 2010 @ 6:00am | 9 Comments

-46

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(207): is it possible to fit a cueball in your asshole? because I gave up.

Posted Mar 10 2010 @ 3:30pm | 6 Comments

-28

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(804): Imma start callin your girl souljaboy the way she got one hit wonders...

Posted Mar 10 2010 @ 10:30am | 8 Comments

71

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(989): 40 degrees have no effect on Main St bartenders during bike week

Posted Mar 10 2010 @ 3:45pm | 31 Comments

125

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(210): I love spring break

Posted Mar 10 2010 @ 6:30am | 11 Comments

30

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(714): U missed the party
(562): Damn

Posted Mar 10 2010 @ 7:00pm | 8 Comments

124

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(226): We need to party with this guy...

Posted Mar 10 2010 @ 6:45am | 28 Comments

132

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(714): Green girl bar

Posted Mar 10 2010 @ 10:45am | 30 Comments

-7

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(479): I think throwing the couch on the fire was a little more than the siding could handle

Posted Mar 10 2010 @ 7:30pm | 7 Comments

22

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(757): Im not seeing anyting that makes me wanna lick my laptop. I just wanna lick it.

Posted Mar 10 2010 @ 3:15pm | 7 Comments

34

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(303): For the last time, hooking up with minorities does not count as aFIRMative ACTION.

Posted Mar 10 2010 @ 10:00am | 4 Comments

34

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(706): Definately don't remember sending nudes to this guy, but the photographs are proof

Posted Mar 10 2010 @ 3:00pm | 11 Comments

61

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(760): Dude, Connor just took a freaking burger out of his pocket.

Posted Mar 10 2010 @ 6:15am | 8 Comments

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(954): Don't you hate when it's cold out and yu grab your nuts to take a piss and it's like instaShriv?
(1-954): Whoever this is...yes.

Posted Mar 10 2010 @ 7:15pm | 7 Comments