Get TWI: Texting While Intoxicated on the iTunes AppStore!

-1114
(714): That's ex porn star Olivia Winters and yea I boned her...

Posted Dec 11 2010 @ 7:30pm | 101 Comments

-1058
(205): Drank myself into a woman

Posted Sep 09 2009 @ 2:05pm | 162 Comments

-1016
(702): Vegas

Posted Jan 04 2011 @ 12:30am | 97 Comments

-1060
(404): Ballsless

Posted Dec 07 2009 @ 4:45am | 153 Comments

-741
(719): Yes thats a squirrel in our toilet. You tell me how this happens.

Posted Oct 04 2009 @ 10:00am | 167 Comments

-916
(561): I had to use my fake id to buy it, jerk!
(1-561): I thought you only had to be 18 to buy those?
(561): Yes & I'm 16......

Posted Sep 02 2009 @ 10:29pm | 227 Comments

-734
(201): 201

Posted Jan 10 2011 @ 10:15am | 30 Comments

-862
(916): Slutty chicks on the bed. Always a photo opp!

Posted Nov 25 2009 @ 8:00pm | 168 Comments

-996
(954): Strippers should not work while on there period.
(1-954): Oh my god man...what the fuck? Are you serious????

Posted Oct 11 2009 @ 7:00pm | 86 Comments

-863
(580): Dude I was having sex with my girlfriend and I pulled out there was blood on my penis :(

Posted Aug 28 2009 @ 9:25pm | 239 Comments

1310
(573): Holy shit...He made it himself!!!

Posted Nov 03 2009 @ 3:00pm | 125 Comments

-883
(765): You likey?

Posted Nov 01 2009 @ 11:15am | 73 Comments

-16
(569): beautiful

Posted Dec 11 2010 @ 10:45am | 80 Comments

-868
(717): Hungover in the clinic this morning, I could barely keep my stomach together. This wasn't helping.
(1-717): Why were you in the clinic?
(717): Ugh...I'll explain later...long night.

Posted Oct 08 2009 @ 3:45am | 274 Comments

-614
(503): These are alll mine!! Call me in the morning and see if I'm still alive.

Posted Dec 23 2010 @ 3:45pm | 101 Comments

Showing: 16 – 30 of 17436   Previous 1 2 3 4 5 Next